Scabbing Fags Off Of Teenagers

I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to scab a roll-up from a teenager – not a cigarette now for any non-UK readers out there – I’m talking about proper rolling tobacco.

rolling-cigarette-and-tobaccoThey hand you the pouch (if they even hand it over that is – teenagers are notoriously poor and therefore reluctant to share), they hand it to you and it’s this crumpled heap that feels limp and thin. The warning labels are in German or some other indecipherable language because they got it off someone’s older brother who went abroad and brought back ten packs to sell at twice the price to desperate teens.

But, spurred on by the fact that they gave it to you in the first place, you open it up. Inside, just as you imagined, there’s a few dusty specks of brown tobacco lingering in the corners. Taking up most of the space are the Rizla, or papers, that have been unceremoniously shoved into the pack, and are taking up most of the available space. If you want a cigarette, you must first tweeze the crumpled papers apart, carefully so they don’t rip, and scrape your finger along the deepest parts of the pouch to get enough tobacco to make a prison rollie, i.e a very thin cigarette. If you’re lucky and depending on personal taste, they might even have half a stick of filters inside. But most likely not.

Can’t complain though. As the adult in this situation, surely it is my own fault for thieving a cigarette off a child, instead of using my wages to buy my own. So I’ll just shut up and roll my prison roll-up.

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