“Well Tie Me to the Chair and Call Me A Writer!”

Can’t remember who said it – can’t even remember the exact quote – but the key to writing might just be being tied to a computer chair by caring family members. Phone should be elsewhere, in a bag, that’s in a suitcase, that’s in the spidery attic. Toilet breaks are necessary, so someone should be in the house at the same time, but preferably in a different room (or, in a giant bag, that’s in a suitcase…)

Knots must be tied tightly at the back of the chair, and underneath if possible. Places where you can’t reach, like a homemade straightjacket. Dressing gown cords seem to be the best option because they’re soft. All needy animals (this means most cats and pretty much all dogs) should be outside, playing in the sun. Feed them, water them, then get ’em out!

Throw out your TV.

Also, while you’re there, throw out your wi-fi box too, at least until you’ve done something worthwhile.

Can’t wait to get started. Tomorrow.

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